#300 Sing Karaoke
When I started SYED almost 10 months ago, one of the first things I ever thought of doing was singing karaoke.
At that time, I had never been on stage in front of people. Now I’ve done that a handful of times. But I still can’t sing. If you haven’t heard me not sing before, you can always look at the entry where I wrote and sang my own song.
Karaoke always seemed like a bad idea to me. I’ve heard people sing it and for the most part, it’s awful. I feel embarrassed for the person on stage. If I sang karaoke, that person would be me.
My parents also sing karaoke. Not just sing it, they embody it. I’m not sure when it started. All I know is that when it did, their so-called singing would cause me to bolt out of bed, wide awake, in search of whoever was doing horrible things to the cat we didn’t have.
So Karaoke was this huge scary thing that kept getting built up as I continued to put it off. And for some reason, different groups of my friends wanted to be there when it happened. Why? I have no idea. But I had put this scary thing off for far too long. This week, before the New Year, I was going to sing.
I was talking with some of my friends on Christmas about going to Karaoke later in the week. Julie’s eyes lit up. “We’re going to pick the song that you sing and that song is Eternal Flame by The Bangles,” she said as if she had planned it out for months.
Now, originally, I had of course planned to pick my own song. I figured it would be something by Bon Jovi given my New Jersey roots and familiarity with their body of work. But Julie’s idea just cranked up the fear factor a few notches.
And Eternal Flame? That’s a pretty hard song to sing. I figured, if I’m going to do this I might as well crash and burn and go down in (eternal) flames.
Tim chose the spot: Karaoke Bleu. Originally we were going to go to a more well known place like Brass Monkey but the possibility of long wait times coupled parents who couldn’t stay out too late led us to Karaoke Bleu.
The place was pretty small and not what I was expecting. The stage was tucked in the corner by the door, almost like an after thought. There weren’t that many people inside and those who were there didn’t seem to be there to sing.
Still, I was there with 6 of my friends and I was really scared. Like I said, there are people who say, “Oh I can’t sing” and go up and belt out songs like a pre-crack Whitney Houston. But I really can’t sing.
Since it was so dead, there was no wait. I was called up a lot sooner than I expected which was probably for the best. I didn’t have time to sit there and worry.
Up on to the little stage I went as my song started. I grabbed the microphone, took a deep breath and jumped right in. I wish I could say I emerged from my shell on stage, but I didn’t. Unlike Mortified, I remained pretty uncomfortable and stiff as the song went on. I also wasn’t singing loud enough. I don’t know how to be loud in general let alone while singing. When it was over, it felt like a big let down. I didn’t let it all go on stage. I was inhibited. People couldn’t hear me. I was deflated.
I wanted another chance. I ended up singing Wilson Phillips “Hold On” with Julie later which was more fun but again, people couldn’t really hear me.
I wasn’t filled with the same sense of accomplishment I felt when doing big scary things like this. Maybe it was because it wasn’t that scary after all. Or maybe because some of the other scary things I did like this had a much more positive reaction. I knew I couldn’t sing so I’m not sure what I was expecting.
But when my friends, none of whom could really sing either, went up on stage for their songs it was so much fun for me to see. Karaoke is such a strange thing. It’s people who can’t perform, performing in front of people. But maybe that’s the whole point. People trying to do something, even if they can’t do it well. That’s the whole point of SYED.
It’s that sharing of the experience that’s what Karaoke is about. That’s why my friends wanted to be there. Not to listen to me, but to experience with me. Nobody cares if you can sing or not. They really don’t. I got it now.
After I thought about it, I stopped being so hard on myself. Of all people, I should know that scary things don’t always go as planned. But I had crossed off a big one off my list. And who knows. I might have to go to Brass Monkey for round 2…
Here’s the video Matt took of me, I’m not sure why the quality is so bad but at least you can hear my horrible singing…
