#289 Have Dinner with a Homeless Person
I was riding back from Rite-Aid with some very un-embarrassing items when I passed by a homeless man. He was a middle aged black man, slight build, carrying a backpack. The last time I encountered a homeless person, I gave her water. Afterwards, my friend Matt suggested that I buy a homeless person lunch as scary thing. Not just buy them lunch, but actually eat it with them.
I thought of that as I passed by the homeless man. He looked relatively harmless and not completely out of his mind. I stopped on the corner on my bike after he went by, debating. I had something scary planned for tonight but I felt like I couldn’t let this opportunity slip by. It was almost dinner time and we were near an El Pollo Loco which would make a convenient place to grab some food.
I turned around, parked my bike and spotted him across the parking lot of the strip mall we were at. I hurried towards him but he disappeared around the corner. When I caught up, he was standing on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette.
“Excuse me sir,” I said. “Do you want some dinner?”
He looked at me and grinned. “You’re the guy who bought me Denny’s?”
“No,” I said.
“Well, ok,” he said back. I suggested we go to El Pollo Loco and that seemed fine with him. As we walked to the restaurant, I tried to chat with him. I asked him his name which was David. Had he been in Sherman Oaks long? No. Then he started babbling. I couldn’t understand a word he said. He spoke like a machine gun with a silencer on it. Just a bunch of rapid fire low thuds. I just nodded along.
I wondered what we looked like to other people. A clean cut looking Asian guy with a homeless man. Did they think he was harassing me?
There weren’t many people inside the El Pollo Loco. I guess it was a little early, around 5pm. We went up to the counter. I just got a small burrito because I had dinner back at my place. I asked David what he wanted. He looked a little confused by the menu so I suggested a burrito. He wanted a drink also so I got him the combo meal.
An older woman next to me said, “You’re very kind.” I shrugged and mumbled thanks. I felt uncomfortable because I didn’t feel like I was doing this amazing thing. I just felt like I was being human.
We got our food and sat down. Some people in the restaurant were obviously looking at us, we were such a mismatched couple. I felt just a twinge of embarrassment but not much. Quite frankly, I didn’t give a shit what other people thought for the most part.
I was worried about how he smelled and if I’d be able to eat my food. That may sound harsh, but I volunteered in the SF County General ER in college. I know homeless funk and it can be stomach turning. But luckily David didn’t really smell bad.
I tried to ask him some questions but he gave short answers for the most part. He didn’t ask me anything. He was also under the impression that I had gone to UCLA to study music. I had a hard time understanding him. When I was done with my food, I sat there, not sure what else to say.
“Go ahead and talk,” he said.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“You know that’s about the 5th time you asked me that question.” At that point things began to feel weird. I asked him some more questions about being homeless and he just started at me. It was hard to tell how mentally out of it he was because at times he sounded completely coherent. But there was a weird shift in the energy of the interaction and I felt super uncomfortable. I wondered if he was going to try and kill me now.
But of course he didn’t. He did say to me, “You’re not very social, are you?” As if I didn’t get enough shit about being shy, now a homeless man was telling me I was too socially awkward. Thanks David.
I asked him what he was going to do after this and he said, “Why? Do you want to hang out?” I felt like it was time to go. I got up to leave and David said he was going to hang out for a bit. He did thank me again and even remembered my name.
Overall, it was an interesting experience. I was glad to have bought a fellow human a meal, but I think it was a good lesson in reality vs. movies. If this had been a movie, David would’ve given me some sage advice on life and I felt like I would’ve made a friend. In reality, I was just glad to have left without something freaky and weird happening. I wasn’t left with some great revelation or sense of “accomplishment.”
I did think he appreciated it. Not just the meal, but he obviously wanted human contact. I’m sure he gets ignored most of the time. “I just want you to talk,” he gad said to me but unfortunately I didn’t really have anything to say.
